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Absolute Blue Invitation 5/16/14 - 5/18/14
Absolute Blue: Listen Responsibly
We at Absolute Blue have become aware of an alarming new trend, one that threatens the very foundation of our society. More and more we see music lovers distracted by hand held digital devices, meaningless conversations and loved ones, failing to give live music the attention it deserves. The end result?
The 867 won't be on time
I've got 2 chickens to paralyze
Scuse me while I kiss this guy
There's a bathroom on the right
I'll never leave your pizza burning
I wanna know have you ever seen Lorraine?
Clown control to Mao Tse-Tung
You made the rice, I made the gravy, but it just may be the tuna fish you're lookin for
Yes, carefully crafted words have lost what little meaning they had to begin with when proper attention is not paid, a condition known as Auditus Interruptus. Just imagine if Lou Rawls sang 'You'll Hardly Miss My Lovin'. Sure it may be true, but it’s hardly as compelling as the original. That is why we have created the ‘Listen Or Die’ campaign and hope to get other musicians, pet owners and Republicans involved as well. But how can you help? Know that your generous contribution to the nearest Absolute Blue tip jar will go to preserving the lyrical integrity for potentially future civilizations as well as saving what little this culture has left…
We start things off this weekend with a Friday night at The Old Fish House in Grant from 6 to 10…
Then Saturday it’s Neptune in Satellite Beach from 9 to 1…
And we wrap up another successful weekend at SBI, rain or shine, from 1 to 5 Sunday…
Absolute Blue Invitation 5/09/14 - 5/11/14
Error 404 Loading Page
The Internet ™ has decided not to display the requested information.
This could be due to a number of factors including but not limited to one or more of the following:
Hardware failure
Software incompatibilities
Browser vulnerabilities
But more probably due to recent software updates that have included Dynamic Universal Multiple Alternate Server Selection capabilities. This allows The Internet ™ to determine what’s best for you using a sophisticated algorithm and cutting edge, questionable and possibly illegal marketing practices. In this case it has provided you with the following suggestions based on your browsing history, last Amazon purchase, IQ, height, credit score, political affiliation, 401k contribution rate, shoe size, eye color, voter record, Netflix queue but mostly what you look like through your webcam:
www.pictorialhistoryofinfections.com
www.gaymarriageandyourpets.com
www.laddersthroughtheyears.com
www.heathcarereformactsectionDCLLVI(V)(ii)(D)(t)(72)pg7472.com
www.bumpers!bumpers!bumpers!.com
And when you’re done with that please join us for a Friday night at Bunky’s Monkey Bar, in Indialantic just across from Paradise Beach, from 9 to 1…
Then Saturday it’s the Tiki Bar in Sebastian, on the river just south of Main Street, from 7 to 11…
And we wind up at the Sandbar in Cocoa Beach, at the end of 520, from 4 to 8…
Absolute Blue Invitation 4/25/14 - 4/27/14
Absolute Red White and Blue
If you’re in the market for new or gently used music, there are a number of things to consider. Perhaps the most important is where your hard earned entertainment dollar is really going. Sure, you could opt for a flirty flamenco or a macho mariachi, but where does your money actually go in these cases? We read on the internet that this capital has gone to fund jihadists, Lutherans and even Republicans. So what’s an informed, conscientious consumer to do? We strongly suggest investing in a wholly American product, such as Absolute Blue: True red blooded Americans playing American music with American words on American made instruments. I don’t know about you, but that sounds good to me. Sure you could support another band, then next thing you know Regis Philbin is back on tv and your 401k has tanked. Coincidence? Probably. But why take the chance?
In other similar but completely unrelated news, we present our newest product, a combination of childhood innocence and Chicago’s deadliest gangster. Look for My Little Al Caponie coming soon at a failing retail store near you…
Join us this Saturday from 6:30 to 9:30 at Matt’s Casbah in downtown Melbourne. It’s the Art Festival weekend so be prepared to party…
Sunday we’re at Sebastian Beach Inn from 1 to 5…
Absolute Blue Invitation 3/21/14 - 3/23/14
Absolute Blue’s Diversity
After we at Absolute Blue, again under court order, underwent Sensitivity Training, which we thought would address Skip’s ticklishness, and we looked up what misogyny means, which turns out to be something other than an optical affliction, it’s all starting to make sense. It’s opened up a whole new world for us. We’ve learned to respect the differences between us, no matter how revolting, and open up to each other. Turns out, Bill likes a good cucumber facial peel, Kevin is a licensed aromatherapist, Don’s on his third pedicure this week, Skip had some personal bleaching and Tom picked up Fried Green Tomatoes AND Steel Magnolias on ebay. As a result, we have dedicated a significant time and effort to develop a new line of greeting cards that we will present to a multi media conglomerate, just not Hallmark, who is still pissed at us for our caustic anniversary cards for remarried ex-wives, even though we remain confident that there is still a niche market for them. Be that as it may, our new offerings promise to be an even larger travesty. A sampling:
If you love a band, set it free. If it comes back to you get a restraining order.
Don't walk behind the band; they may not lead. Don't walk in front of the band; they may not follow. In fact don’t walk at all. Run. Quickly. And away.
The band is a many Splenda thing. Seems real at first, then leaves you empty with a bad aftertaste.
The band means never having to say you’re sorry. Or please. Or thank you.
The band will keep us together, like…never mind.
You had the band at ‘I’m calling the cops’.
The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love communicates in a meaningful way this Friday at Matt’s Casbah in downtown Melbourne from 6:30to 9:30…
Then we will be empathizing Saturday at The Old Fish House in Grant from 6 to 10…
We finish things up with some mutual respect of your thoughts and feelings Sunday at SBI from 1 to 5…
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