Absolute Blue Invitation 10/03/14 - 10/04/14

Absolute Blue Dishes

We are back after a weekend off, but that is not to say we were dormant, stagnant or lethargic. That’s mostly when we play. No, we put the time to good use and made great strides in developing our latest ill-advised initiative, direct from the kitchens of Absolute Blue: culinary delights designed to unite us as a culture, community and/or municipality. It’s not just a fricassee for you and me or asparagus for the rest of us, think of it more as casseroles for Gators and for Seminoles. A unifying Hummus among us. But don’t take my word for it. See for yourself:

-Andretti Spaghetti: For those who like their pasta fast. And toxic.

-Frickin Chicken: Poultry with an attitude.

-Obamie Pastrami: Sure to leave you distressed digestively and legislatively.

-Perogies for Old Fogies: Don’s favorite.

-Potatoes Ill Gotten: Spuds procured from the back of Publix.

-Billy Con Carne: With or without beans. One of the Yearty’s Own selections.

-The Hillary Distillery: Liberal libations with a guaranteed hangover.

-Dick Trickel Pumpernickel: The first NASCAR sanctioned bread.

-Not So Matzo’s: Only slightly kosher.

-Fondon’t: Nuff said.

And don’t forget about our salad dressings: The French with a stench, the Vinaigrette that you’ll regret and, as always, we put the bals in Balsamic…

This Friday we return to Squid Lips in Melbourne from 7 to 11…

Then Saturday we hit the Sand Bar in Cocoa Beach, at the end of 520, from 9 to 1…

Absolute Blue Invitation 9/12/14 - 9/14/14

Absolute Blue Ruminations

The recent Brevard Live Music Awards and its related revelry have caused us to reflect upon our origins, the glorious past and tentative future. When Absolute Blue was formed over 20 years ago, it was done with a single clear and meaningful purpose. Course no one remembers what the hell it was, but we have put together the following from the Absolute Blue archives, which aren’t so bad once you get used to the smell. Like archeologists sifting through the sands of an ancient and unexplained civilization, so are the rusted bottle caps and long expired 7-11 burrito wrappers of The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love. Among the pieces we’ve put together (edited to remove the references to events in which the statute of limitations may still be in affect):

-During a rigorous deep tissue massage in 1993, two words came to Tom. No, not those. It was Absolute and Blue. Putting them together formed the name that would only be marginally more palatable then Hot Gossip. No happy ending here.

-The Horn Dogs stumbled into the band one night in 1998, mistaking the stage for a nearby IHOP, and to this day are still waiting on their Belgian Waffles.

-Bill was forced to join the band in a desperate attempt to fulfill his Community Service obligations, as even then they were a 501(C) charity, for a number of reasons.

-Few people realize it but Skip was actually won in a late night Texas Holdem tournament where he unwisely doubled down on a pair of double D’s. The pot was to be split 3 ways, but lacking the energy to dismember, the other winners were bought out with an industrial strength fart machine and several hundred back issues of Hustler.

That’s as far as we got before becoming uncomfortably aware of both our inadequacies and the fact that we had run out of beer…

Join us for a Friday night at the Tiki Bar in Sebastian from 7 to 11. The Tiki is conveniently located on Indian River Blvd, just south of Main Street…

Then Saturday it’s a rare afternoon performance from 12 to 4 at Space Coast Harley at Palm Bay Road and 95 where you can take advantage of free beer (while supplies last). Yes, I said free beer…

Absolute Blue Invitation 9/05/14 - 9/06/14

Absolute Blue Patriotization

It could be the long holiday weekend. Or maybe the recent elections that remind us once again the participatory nature of American politics. Whatever the cause, we’ve taken time to reflect on just what it means to be a part of this fine country. I mean, there’s something for everyone, even the liberals. What we lack in history, culture and détente we more than make up for in fast food, reality tv and selfies. And while The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love has always been a band of true patriots, what does it mean to be a true American band? It’s more than just Don’s Early Light or Don’s Bursting In Air. It’s Absolute Blue: Band that you love, stand beside them and buy them, Beam and Sprite or bud light, which they love. And as Francis Scott Offkey once wrote:

This band is your band, this band is my band

From Grant-Valkaria, to South Merritt Island

From the redneck poorest, to the golfing lawyers

This band was made for you and me.

And who could forget:

Band that stands side by side

Where we have Bill preside

In everyway the dudes abide

Yet they say dumb things

So when you’re making your music decision this weekend, keep in mind the band that truly embraces the American spirit and all it stands for. Then come see us…

This Friday it’s back to Squid Lips in Melbourne from 7 to 11…

Then Saturday it’s the Pineda Inn, on US1 just north of Pineda causeway, again from 7 to 11…